Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize