I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
