Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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