Non-Jews are for practice
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
