people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
two words: eviction party
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
