It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
