we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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