WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize