so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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