i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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