someone get that fucking seahorse.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
