Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
