My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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