Dual....:-)
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
