Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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