why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
