WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
