Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
