That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
