Kiss
Puke
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Alive.
So much puke
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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