The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
