It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize