You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
