Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
