His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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