We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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