Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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