Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
