I want to make a zoo with you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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