is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
