We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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