Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
