I'm going to jail i love you
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
