$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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