I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it hurts more in the daytime
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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