please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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