so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
