So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
