im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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