lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we have officially lost it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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