yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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