Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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