It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize