been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
