also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i believe in u and ur pee
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
