i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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