U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
