if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
