I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
