She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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