I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My room smells like vodka and shame
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
