..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
