i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
