Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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