i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize