Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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