just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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