so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
