I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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