I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
