Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
