I am puke
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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