i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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